you belong to Me

blessed -divinely or supremely favored; fortunate; blissfully happy or contented.

this definition, provided by dictionary.com thank you very much, fits me perfectly. i am blessed. blessed beyond words. beyond emotion. my smile and tears of joy do not even come to close to what i feel. as i sit here with my piece of pizza, tall glass of sweet lemonade and my new favorite cd playing in the background (Sara Bareilles "Little Voice" go buy it or go home.), i realize that my blessings have only begun. this is only the beginning.

"Jabez called out to the God of Israel, 'Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let Your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.' And God granted his request..." 1 Chronicles 4:10

before one can recieve the blessings, one must surrender. surrender and give up control of your life. your life is not yours to call your own. your life is God's to use to share His love and to bring glory to His name. but you must surrender to Him and His love for you. and with surrender comes the blessings. God rewards those who take positive daily steps in His direction. december 7th 2007, while driving home, i threw myself a pity party because i though this Christmas break was going to suck. no...more than just suck. i was going to be completely away from my best friend, from my other half. it was going to be nothing more than a miserable holiday, that for once in my life, i wasn't in the mood for. but two days later, i cried out to God in my car. i hated the fact that i had only been home for two days and i was already miserable. i was scared. so scared and confused. i had never been that way. when i had problems with a guy, i never held on. i let go because it wasn't worth my time. but now i had held on for all i had in me. something was different. i was being held without chains.

finally through the tears i cried, i surrendered everything to God, asking Him to take complete control of me. to show me what he wants for me. separate from all relationships i have. i want to know His love song for me. i want to know His plan for me. i need to know this. it is vital in order for me to survive in this world. so by the grace of God, all my miserable thoughts were cleared away. the rain had finally come to a stop and the blessings began. the right doors were open once i completely surrendered control. on my own, away from my best friend, i had to grow.

grace is free. salvation is free. spritual growth is not.

weeks later on December 21, part of God's plan for my life was revealed to me. on december 27th, i recieved the best Christmas present i could ever ask for. after 4 months of prayer and faith, my best friend and i finally recieved God's blessing to be together. it sounds so silly but i became a girlfriend. i have a boyfriend who still leaves me speechless with his reckless love and faith in Christ.*and trust me. if you're laughing i really don't care. because 1. im laughing at myself. and 2. i'll be laughing when you realize your boyfriend is extremely lame when it comes to mine. there is no comparison to him*

since that day, it has been nothing but a blessing. a blessing to wake up in the morning and know, without a doubt, that i am loved. loved in a way i thought i had before, but that was not love. that was far from it. now i am in loved in a way so deep and so passionate that i could never trade it for anything in this world. i know that when my world is a mess and to steal a quote from The Fray, "when my city spins around" i know who i can run to. i have someone who will hold me in his arms and reassure me that i am okay. that God is in control. i am constantly encouraged in my daily walk with Christ and i am loved for me. for what i am. for what i was created by God to be. it feels so good. to know that i was created for someone. that i now belong with someone. i am his and he is mine.

but all the more...i am still me. i thank God with all that i am that i have someone who has not let me lose sight of what i am. mom and i talked today about how sometimes in a relationship, one person is lost in the shadow of another and they are forgotten. i praise God that this will never happen to me. i will not be lost in the shadow. my other half has only helped me to further pursue God's will for my life, apart from our life together. i can create my own shadow where i pray to God no one will ever stand. i refuse to let that happen. although i know who i belong with, i know who i belong to. i am child of the King. i belong to Him. no one else will ever have my love. my fire. my passion for my King. He has rescued me over and over again. when things are not going right, when i feel all the world is against me, i can hold on to the knowledge that i am rescued. that i am saved by grace. i hear God quietly whisper "you belong to Me." praise God. praise God with all that i am and with all that is in me. i belong to Him.

"Into Your hands, I commit my spirit. Redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth...You have not handed me over to the enemy but have set my feet in a spacious place." Psalm 31:5 &8