2 months and 1 day. i leave for Kenya. my eyes will be opened. my heart will be broken. i'll learn to appreciate the usually unnoticeable things in life like my bed. or my shoes. or a bottle of water. i'll realize how blessed i really am.
but i'll be the same.
my fingers will have interlocked with fingers of children who have lost everything. my hands will have held infants who will never know their parents. my arms will have hugged amazing people each with an amazing amount of faith. my fire and my desperation to share Christ will only be fueled.
but i'll be the same.
i'll be the same girl who had a pancake in her mouth when you walked by her last august. i'll still love coldplay and hoodies. i'll still testify that drinking Simply Orange juice is better out of the bottle than drinking it out of a cup. i'll still love daisies and i'll still hate the word "chunk." i'll still be the girl who faithfully watches your soccer games in silence so you can focus. i'll still carry my sunglasses with me wherever i go. i'll still love club sandwiches and i'll still be obsessed with my camera.
i'll still be the same girl who has loved you since she met you. i'll still be the same girl who loves to sit with you under the stars for hours. i'll still be the same girl who would rather sit and talk with your family then go out with tons of friends. i'll still be the same girl who makes you read the Dove chocolate wrappers before you eat the chocolate.
when i come back from kenya and i get off the plane and run into your arms, i'll be the same girl as the one who left two weeks before. although my desire for peace and salvation for Kenya will be increased, i'll still be the same girl. nothing and no one can ever change any of that. atlanta, rock hill, kenya...distance doesn't mean anything. nothing will change. i have the reassurance, the confidence, the promise that you aren't going anywhere. neither am i. this summer will only make us grow stronger in our faith in God and in each other. you and i just fit. life with you makes sense to me. you promised to fight and defend me and i'll hold fast to that promise.
i'm not going to throw a pity party about any of this. of course, i'll be upset every once and a while - that's expected. but this summer will be too good for both of us to sit around and pout. you're going to be doing amazing things over the next few months. i cannot express to you how proud i am of you. i cannot wait to brag about what you're doing this summer. yes, it will kill me to have to say goodbye to you...but actually, no. we're not saying goodbye. i hate that. we'll say "see you soon." just like at christmas. we'll see each other every chance we can get. talking every night on the phone or online will be a must (you knew that). i cannot wait for what God has planned for you and i this summer - together and seperately.
i hope you know how i desperately love you. i can't explain it. its something i thought i had but i was wrong - so very wrong. you've shown me what love really is. its a faithful, trusting, reassuring love that i've never felt before. i could never throw it away or even begin to lose it. i refuse to let that happen. the night you and i met, was a night that was only planned by God. everything i have been through led me to that kitchen on that monday night. all that i've done led me to that front porch where you walked up to me in that Nationals t-shirt, black bandana and wild hair. you stole my heart that night and i'm never asking for it back. you promised to fight for me and to defend me. you know i'm a fighter and i'm stubborn so trust that i won't let this slip away. i could never imagine my life without you. this summer will be a time of growing and learning for both of us. we just won't physically see each other every day. but always know and remember - i love you. always and forever.
So let's be through with this one
Cause some things never change.
I know you're still my same girl
Who builds her own frames
Right back to my same girl.
How can you be so calm when the truth is sometimes
Living in the eye of the storm?
With everything going on around us
I feel comfort in the sounds when you say
It will be ok.
Like a star that's immune to the light of the day
Told dreams it could follow me
But not with my same girl.
- Jack Johnson "Same Girl"
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